A Defining Moment | Warning: A long post. Read only if you have time :)

Over the weekend, I got into one of those funky moods. I just felt blah... I wasn't sick or having a bad day, but I felt sort of restless, anxious, and just plain moody. Mood swings are not common with me except during certain times of the month (if you know what I mean), but this time it was more of a reaction to being overwhelmed with a realization of where I am in life and the desire to be at a place of perfect harmony in my family+career+my purpose or calling. I strive for balance and sometimes it feels like the scales are completely off. I'm sure this is something many others like myself have struggled with when we have so much responsibility + burdens to bear. Our hopes and dreams tend to evaporate when we don't see or feel them coming to pass at the rate that we want it. It leaves us feeling stale and unmotivated to keep up with it. However, I have to trust God for his mercy+grace for His great master plan for my life because He promises a good future for those who love Him.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

I know that I have such an amazing privilege to be a stay at home mom with two precious boys + married to an amazing + loving husband and that's absolutely one of the greatest blessings I have received and I would never trade it for anything in the world. I thank God for that every single day. I also know that being a Graphic Designer is the right career path for me, no doubt about that, because I am so passionate about art+design and everything in between. Yet, I guess now I'm realizing how important I think it is to know our calling in life and our purpose on earth, in order to give me a sense of fulfillment. I question at times, what is it that I was created to do other than serve my family, my church? What about my community, my city, my country, the world? I have this strong desire to wake up the world and let them know that I'm just an ordinary person that desires to do extraordinary things to make others see the beauty in life + love. Wow, did I just say that? Could be my mission statement.:)

As I was folding laundry, I had a dialogue with myself in my mind that turned into this prayer to God, saying, 

"I feel like quitting and giving up. I feel like what I do has little significance. Things just seem to play out differently than what I expected. Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Am I doing enough or not enough? God, if you're listening I know you created me to do something significant in this world."

So, in attempt to save my insanity from all the doubts running through my head, I stood there completely still. I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and exhaled...

My husband walked into the room after he spent the day in the yard getting the Dahlias ready for the summer (his sweet gift to me every summer). He knew that I had been in this funk for awhile. He has been such a good listener and always giving me the encouragement that I need and being that wonderful, supportive husband that he is, he said, "Why don't you just get out of the house and go somewhere and I'll watch the boys." 

So off I went...

I went without knowing where I was going to go that day, but I knew I was going to end up at the nearest bookstore, Barnes and Noble. There's just something so liberating about being surrounded by books. I love books and the magical feeling of being transported through time + the inspiration I get when I read or see images that move me, inspire me, and connect me to others' experiences, perceptions, dreams, realities, failures, triumphs, aspirations.... It's my way of seeing past my own limitations and finding the motivation to keep going, keep learning + growing.  To keep being who I am, not just doing the things I need to do.

During my visit there, I discovered this publication by Stampington & Co, Artful Blogging.

I thought it was just another how-to art+craft magazine, but a few pages into reading it, I was taken by the concept behind it and the words of other bloggers (artists) who described exactly what I had been feeling in my creative journey. It was a heaven sent to take in the words of wisdom + inspiration that these blog artists have witnessed in their own path towards personal fulfillment in a way that blogging does for them, both creatively and personally.Reading through it, it gave me insight + understanding how blogs give us an opportunity to reach out to others, build relationships, inspire creativity, illuminate the world with beautiful art and creative ideas, lend support + encouragement to those experiencing the same challenges in all areas of life + to simply have a voice. It's not just something people do for the fact that everyone has a blog. It doesn't matter if you're an artist, a parent, a college student, a teacher, a motivational speaker, a celebrity of all sorts, a corporation or what not. Not only do people blog to market their company + ideas for a specific community. Some blog, simply because it keeps them stay in touch with family + friends. Almost always, the main reason that most people blog is to keep a journal of their life, their experiences as they journey through time. These are the blogs that I found to be what attracts me the most because I know that its genuine + real which gives me a sense of comfort + assurance, in knowing that when I face similar situations, I am not alone. I feel connected to that person whether or not she/he knows I exist. I learn from them and it is something I strive to do everyday is -- to LEARN. 

After reading through the inspiring articles, it has has helped me gain a new perspective on life and it humbles me that I sometimes overlook the importance of keeping true to myself + and not try to imitate or desire to be like others. We are not meant to be anyone different other than who we were created to be. I've come to acknowledge and accept that I am who I am, I have a voice, and I shouldn't limit myself to be like others, but to be ME. I have to believe that I can be amazing. The only person that keeps us from being successful is none other than ourselves. It's when we choose to stop believing in ourselves, that we no longer find meaning in our work, therefore lose sight of our purpose. So, be true to yourself!

There's this quote that comes to mind.

"Never rest on your achievements; always nurture your potential." - Dennis Waitley

 Within us, is so much potential to do amazing things. But when we choose to fear and doubt ourselves, it is the very thing that keeps us from being amazing.

“Don't be afraid to be amazing.” -Andy Offutt Irwin

We get so caught up in thinking that our defining moments are based on what we DO rather than WHO WE ARE. We can do all these great and noble things, but it's the essence of who we are in the inside that makes a huge difference in impacting those around us. In order to see that, we have to look at all of our weaknesses and strengths as a whole, and appreciate the beauty of our character as a result of it. Our values + character translates into our work and our work is a reflection of that inner beauty within all of us. Our lives speaks volumes and when we share it with others, it has the power to influence as we lead by example. Thus, my reason for sharing this blog, my world, my passions with you...

So after today, I know I must strive to keep learning + receive the challenges of life as an opportunity to grow in my character and discover my purpose. Let us not be discouraged by our limitations, but may it cause us to discover our true potential to become better at what we do, to be creative in our thinking, and find inspiration in others as well as in ourselves. After all, finding our purpose can be a lifelong journey and we may not actually know what it is if we give up too easily. We just may come to the conclusion that our purpose may not lie in the things we DO, but in WHO WE ARE.

Thank you if you have read this far.:) 

By the way, I also found that eating Red Velvet Cupcakes can make our moods better, too.:) Ahhh...so good!

XOXO,
Dahlia