LUCAS GOES TO SCHOOL | The Second Time Isn't Always Easy

FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN for my littlest son, well not so little anymore, LUCAS <3

TODAY... is another milestone for both me and Lucas, my youngest son. He finally started Kindergarten and even though they say that it's not as emotional after your first child starts school, it still was a little heartbreaking for me. I held back my tears when he stood there for a minute and began to cling on tightly to my hand. He was suddenly not as excited as he was the days or weeks before. Then, he whispered in my ear and said, "I can't, Mommy". My eyes blurred with tears, but I consciously took control of my emotions so as to not show him that I, too, was feeling uneasy about it. Looking into his eyes, I told him how I understood that he's nervous and that I was too, but reminded him how I would pick him up right after school, just like he and I did everyday when Josiah was in Kindergarten. He would bury his face in my neck and I took the time to look around to see what was happening with the other kids and their parents. Apparently, there were other children having a hard time as well, some were sobbing and some had to step outside to be calmed down. I'm sure just like me, every parent's heart was aching...

After awhile of reassuring him that I know he will be fine, he finally let go and sat down to draw on the piece of paper. I continued to wait with him and every time I talked to him, he kept silent and just focused on drawing, not once looking at me. I guess that was my cue to start making my way out the door and I kissed him and said, "I'll be back," which he replied simply by saying, "OK." Short and sweet. 

The moment came to pick him up and this is what he did as soon as the door opened! He came out running with the biggest smile on his face and I was so relieved that it turned out really well, better than I expected... Well, at least for him. Me? I'm still crying inside.

Although I am happy that my boys are growing up and are so full of life and joy, I'm also realizing all over again at how fast it all happens and it just makes me so vulnerable to know that nothing lasts forever... Life moves on and it moves rather quickly and I just wish that I could slow it down. But in reality, I know that I just need to keep up and cherish each passing moment. So, here's to the beginning of another chapter in this lifelong journey and adventure called Motherhood. :)