Hello Friends,
Today is Day 57 of my Project 365. Since it's Monday, I also would like to share my weekly theme--Things You Wish Never Happened. I know, it's kind of sounds a bit melancholy, but it's real life and that's what this project is about. If all we did was take pictures of flowers, sunsets, and happy faces all year long, I think I've defeated my purpose of even joining this group. And quite frankly, I think it would make my P365 album seem quite boring if you ask me. Every life has it's ups and downs and moments that are not perfect. So this week, I choose to focus on the disappointments, painful memories, the mistakes and imperfections that I might encounter and/or have endured....
DAY 57
09/19/11
Location: Woodlawn Cemetery
Camera: iPhone
My mother's birthday was over the weekend, but as much as I wanted to pay her a visit, I had to babysit my nieces and also needed to do a photo shoot with my hubby. I finally went today after I dropped my boys off at school. I cut some of the dahlia flowers that grew in our garden to place at her grave.
Even though it's been 25 years since she passed, I still get emotional. Most of the memories I have of her are just bits and pieces of our lives in my old childhood home where I would see her cooking in the kitchen and the delicious food she would make. I can still envision her brushing her hair in the bathroom mirror, sitting at the dining room table talking on the phone or doing the bills. I also remember how she got mad at me and chased me around the table with her slipper so she can spank me after I threw a pillow at her, but then we both ended up laughing together in the end. I remember her laugh and her smile. She was very soft spoken and kind hearted towards everyone she met. At night, sometimes she would sing us songs to sleep and tell us stories about Jesus. Her faith in God was not just through her words but her actions as well, so very giving and unselfish. I remember her hands, how rough they were from all her hard work around the house, but those hands were also very gentle and willing to do whatever she needed to do to keep our family and our home a happy place...
There was one vivid memory I had of the time I was playing with some kids on my block and we had a bike race downhill from the top of my street. I was in the winning lead until my bike crashed to its side and I lay there in pain crying. My friends helped walk me back to my house and my mom was doing laundry in the garage. She stopped to pick me up and carry me up to my room and took care of whatever was hurting or bleeding. I knew she was worried, yet she was calm and made sure that I was okay and she would pray over me. I remember when she found out the news that she had Leukemia and I had just walked in the door from school. That was the day she left home to be hospitalized for most of the next 6 months until she lost her battle with cancer. And that was the beginning of a long, scary, dark road that led me through some of the most insidious and traumatizing experiences as a teen and as a young adult. But, thankfully and graciously, I found refuge, freedom, and hope in God's love. It took years for me to really recover from my past and I'm still a work in progress, but God has been faithful to continue his work in me. Somehow, as time passed by, it all made perfect sense how my past has brought me where I needed to be and gave me the capacity to really appreciate life and the blessings I now have. Ironically, even though I wish all the time that my parents would've never passed away so soon, I honestly am grateful for how much it has built my character, my faith, and love for life and my family.....
Until we meet again, Mom and Dad.
