Soli, was our first puppy that we welcomed into our family for only a short amount of time. When he arrived, we had high hopes that he would stick around for a very long time. Little did we know, that it was just not the right timing for our family to care for this wonderful dog. I will explain in just a little bit.
First, let me ask you... Have you ever jumped into something you were so sure would work out and you only made the decision to do it because you felt in your heart that it was something that would make you or someone happy? OR have you ever taken a chance on something that you expected to be successful, but never really knew if you had what it took to make it happen? Well, that's exactly what happened with Soli. :(
A friend of mine, my former boss, contacted me about Soli and when we saw his picture, we were instantly in love with him. Soli was with another family who was temporarily caring for him, but needed a home and hearing that he has been house trained, went to training school, is neutered, and up to date with all his vaccinations, it just felt like the perfect dog for us because I didn't have a lot to deal with as far as training goes or so I thought and the fact that most of his medical needs were taken care of. My boys have been begging to have their very own puppy for the longest time and I thought to myself that this "could be" the one. I sought advice from other friends and family who have dogs and got mixed opinions, but overall, I was still determined that it would be all good and gravy. What could go wrong? After all, if others can do it, so can I, right? Nope, not necessarily.
So the first day, Soli got along really well in his new surroundings and he seemed to love it in his new home. We made sure he was fed and took him out for walks in the morning and in the evening. During the day he followed me like a shadow all around the house and loved to curl up by my feet. As I searched the web to learn all about taking care of dogs, I was amazed at just how little I know about their needs for discipline, socialization, and affection. My perspective of how to treat and care for dogs were slightly off. Of course, I know how to give affection, but I had much to learn about how to discipline and socialize them around other people and other dogs. At that point, I became aware that Soli needed more than I had expected. It was just like raising another child to a certain extent. Even though I thought he was just the perfect puppy and my heart was smitten by this gorgeous dog, I began to question whether I was ready to make that sacrifice.
A couple days later, I noticed that Soli was becoming a little hyperactive and started to lose his temperament when it came to being around my boys. He was especially more aggressive with my youngest, Lucas, being that Lucas was so full of energy all the time. He must of saw him as another playmate and would jump and chase Lucas all over the house and when I would step in to stop them, Soli would bolt at me with a growl. My boys began to feel fearful and uncomfortable around Soli, which of course can easily be sensed by dogs and only accentuates their aggression as I read somewhere. I also noticed that Soli would be jealous whenever I would show the slightest affection with Lucas. The moment I would hug and hold Lucas on my lap, Soli would jump and try to get in between. Soon after, Soli no longer listened to me or my commands, but chose my husband as his "master" or "pack leader", which posed an issue because my husband was at work all day. So, getting Soli to behave and remain calm became a huge challenge for me.
That night, as I was changing Lucas, I noticed a dark bruise on his hip and looked closely to find that they were bite marks that weren't deep enough to draw blood, but painful to look at. I was shocked that it had happened, but most of all, upset that Lucas did not stop to tell me. Obviously, it didn't hurt him enough to make him cry and come running to me, but I couldn't help but wonder if it had been worse, what then? As much as I wanted to let it slide, I just knew I can't ignore this and just wait for another accident to happen. It's definitely something that could be corrected through proper training and discipline, but I knew that I didn't really have the time, energy, or commitment let alone the money, to hire a professional or buy the self-help materials to do that. And even having to remind and refrain my sons over and over again to not jump, run, or scream around Soli, can be exhausting. They are kids after all, so what can I do? My husband and I were struggling with mixed feelings about letting Soli go, but we knew that at this time in our lives, we just weren't ready for the task or the challenge to give the attention that Soli needs and deserves, especially while our boys are still young.
We also thought that we were ready for this new addition and added responsibility, but in reality Soli deserved more than we can give him. I, myself, thought I could handle it being a stay-at-home mom, but realized that I'm already facing challenges trying to balance my life with two young boys, with the oldest just ready to enter Kindergarten, which is a big adjustment for me in itself. Being naive, I was sure that it wouldn't be that difficult to manage having a family dog. The truth is, I couldn't do it all by myself without the support of my husband who is at work most of the time and without the proper knowledge, patience, and consistency that is required.
After returning Soli the other night, I didn't think it had any deep affect on me, but the moment I came home, my husband and I shed a few tears over the fact that we had grown to really care and love Soli. It was pretty awkward, but it was our first puppy as a family. Even Josiah, my five year old, took it really hard and cried his heart out. It was Josiah who really showed the most excitement when we first got him and now he was the one who begged to not let Soli go. He said, "Mom, can we please keep Soli forever?! I love him!! I'll help you take care of him and feed him. Just tell me what you want me to do. I will clean up my room. Please Mom?" I broke in tears just to hear him say that and to witness my son react with such remorse and sorrow, but we believed that it was the best thing, not just for our family, but for Soli.
It's crazy to think that a dog would have such an impact on a person in such a short amount of time. I wanted him to grow old with us, you know? Sigh. At times, I get extremely disappointed for even allowing myself to get carried away from the get go and assume that everything would work out to our advantage. It was hard enough letting Josiah down and having to see him go through this little heartache. But, I realized that if I would have never decided to take Soli in the first place, we wouldn't have had this experience which allowed us to learn and respect dogs or any other pet for that matter and to also honor and respect other pet owners who willingly and selflessly make every effort to ensure that their pets are taken good care of. I used to wonder why people would go so far to rescue or protect an animal. I just never understood how people got so connected to them that they would do whatever it took to make them safe, healthy and happy. But now I can honestly say, that I do know and do understand fully...
Even though it wasn't meant to be for us, Soli gave us a chance to open our hearts in learning how to share our love as well as show compassion towards animals and how wonderful and beautiful it really is. I know that there will be another day and another time where we can finally be ready and fully prepared for a puppy we can really call our own. Until then, we are forever grateful for Soli....
xoxo,
Dahlia
