Last week, I was in this funky mood and it really stunk. I mean, I just couldn't shake it off and it felt like I was drowning within. Ever felt that way? If you want to know why I was in this little funk, you can read more about it here. Whenever I'm feeling that way, words are so hard to come by when I want to express what that is. So, after praying and meditating, I found a way to execute those feelings and thoughts.
I painted.....
Staring at a blank canvas can be so intimidating and a little scary. Before I started to put anything down, I worried about how I was going to do it, what colors to use, what to draw, and basically if it will turn out the way I want it to. Most of all, I was afraid to make any mistakes. Then it dawned on me, that MISTAKES are meant to happen as we go through life, isn't that right?? We all make mistakes and that is inevitable. Life is not perfect and so are WE. So, once I got over that fear, I jumped right into it whether or not I messed up. The only thing I let loose, was my imagination and it just took off from there. Yes, there were moments that I didn't like what I saw, but I kept going by painting another layer over it, redrawing and recreating textures and colors, and simply going with the flow. What was not so attractive before eventually became beautiful to me and that is the beauty of mixed media and art journaling. I felt like it reflected my life, how I've experienced such a difficult upbringing filled with so much pain, confusion, and resentment, but eventually became a life that has been enriched with grace, love, and joy....
On this 8x8 canvas, I gessoed it and played around with what I have on hand--craft acrylics, watercolor pencils, dry watercolor paints, heavy body acrylics, a butterfly rubber stamp, and india ink pens. I also experimented with collage using paper from an old book and gel medium. In the beginning I didn't expect to sketch out a portrait, but it evolved as I went along and in the end, I doodled the title--"I have a creative VOICE." This is what the journaling reads....
"Creating art is my voice. Silence is my canvas where ideas begin to unfold and expressions of my heart can only be spoken through color and the creativity that flows through my hands. Spread your wings and fly."
I was a little reluctant to share this at first, thinking that I'm so new at this and cannot compare to the amazing mixed media artists out there. But, you know what, I'm doing this for me. This is what helped me get through the funk and gave me a sense of hope. I know that whatever I create is unique and straight from the heart which is authentic to who I am. Every artist starts somewhere and this is where my journey begins into mixed media art and art journaling. More to come....
xoxo,
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